Woo hoo! There’s a chill in the air (occasionally) and the September issues have been bought and consumed. I am ready to move forward and experience new coat joy. And what joy is in store!
Chillin’
Not only is the coat pink trend from last year carrying through into this season – confirmed by none other than Elle’s Lorraine Candy - but I managed to snap one up for a mere £14 from Matalan. OK, I bought it in July and it was a complete punt, but still, a coat for £14? I think that’s an epic win in anyone’s book.
This is most definitely a fun coat for me, as in all likelihood I won’t be able to wear it in a few months (or even next week, judging by the current pregnancy appetite) but also because it is so trendy, being pink n’all. Having said that, it does some rather snappy detailing.
The collarless shape and zip fastening help to streamline the coat so it doesn’t appear too fussy. Adding a blunt shoe, like the Birkenstocks I’m sporting or another ugly-style sandal, will help to de-girlify the coat if sugary isn’t your bag.
Clearly, I’m in casual mode here but I’m looking forward to the first real nip in the weather so I can sling this on with some tailored black trousers and a brogue. A statement handbag, such as a fabulous structured handbag, would complete the look rather nicely thank you very much.
You’ve ranted, you’ve raved, you’ve probably cried and loved and hated your therapist in equal measure. Time to dodge these emotionally-baffling bullets.
Joggers. When I’m walking my tear-stained face home, don’t be standing next to me at the traffic lights stretching and looking all smug. I could jog too y’know; it would probably just make me cry is all.
Off-loaders. You’ve had your moment to off-load so now they think it’s their turn. Friends, partners and family beware: I pay good freaking money to get rid of my rubbish and I suggest you do the same. Plus, I’m more likely to be feeling drained than renewed after my therapy session so just leave. Me. Be. Thanking you!
Very, very happy people. Reading an article after my session about a yoga teacher who spends ten minutes being grateful each morning because “you can’t be depressed if you’re grateful” (wrong, by the way) wasn’t what we call A Good Idea. Anger ensued pretty quickly.
Facebook. Guaranteed, there will be something to piss you off: attention-seeking status updates, pictures of dramatic weight loss, and Candy Crush notifications on your timeline, to name but a few. Be kind and swaddle your emotional self instead.
Any movie or TV show where every problem is solved as if by magic. You may think that this will cheer you up but you’ll most likely end up feeling really rather bitter, especially because you’ve just spent all your beer money on an hour’s ranting while these guys only had to cry for the duration of a montage before everything was just dandy again. Save the show for tomorrow; you can delude yourself happily when you’re a little stronger.
Flick through the A/W 14 Next Directory and you’ll find awesome, editorial-esque images providing plenty of new season inspiration.
Who doesn’t want a hi-low trainer with smart coat ensemble?
I love you Joan Smalls
A tousled pony tail with a wear-with-everything shirt?
This jumper is £15!
To be able to look like Anja Rubik in a slouchy knit, pencil skirt and metallic flats? No one!
WANT.
But flick a page or two and Next majorly loses the plot.
Had the stylist had an embolism at the point at which the outfit with the grey skirt had to be constructed?
Er, no.
And would you believe that culottes are actually bang on trend for next season after the frankly ridonc blouse and high heel combo?
Old.
This is the problem with a store like Next: it tries to appease so many women that it routinely lets down all of them. I have many stylish things from there, not least a pair of leopard print slip-on trainers and some slim-leg cuff trousers. I couldn’t live without either but when I go into their stores I’m left cold.
So much comes down to the edit of stock in individual stores, which is why I’m willing to forgive the various branches near me. But the directory? C’mon Next, you have some awesome stock and you ruin it constantly with weird, never-been-fashionable-and-never-will pairings. And you have Joan Smalls, Anja Rubik and Jessica Hart modelling for you. Jeez.
P.S. Have you seen the array of awesome flats they have ready for next season? Yummy. I think the oxblood patent brogue is calling out to me.
Sorry, took a photo of the page cos I was so excited!
I think this post is sponsored by the rage I felt at seeing a bottle of Dolmio on sale at a WH Smith’s at the local hospital for a whopping £2.99. Why do people buy this stuff? It’s awful and doesn’t taste like any of the ingredients that are purported to be in it. Apologies if you very much enjoy a ‘Dolmio Day’ but any pre-made sauce, of any brand or supermarket origin, just feels like a waste because it’s very easy to make your own sauce.
So this is my fall-back sauce. I very much enjoy whipping up my bolognaise, a Nigella spaghetti with lemon and garlic breadcrumbs, or a walnut and parsley pesto, but when I’m hungover and/or starving, this “arrabiata” hits the spot.
An arrabiata is a tomato and chilli sauce, which this definitely is, but without any of the skill that it probably should be made with. But then again it’s very simple, and I’ve whipped it up several times when my head should be firmly on a pillow in a darkened room. Add a few more fancy ingredients and extra cooking time and this could probably be a dinner party dish….. or, y’know, a Tuesday lunch when working from home. Whatevs.
Anyway, you need the stuff below.
Extra virgin olive oil; chillies; white onion; garlic; tin of chopped toms
These are store cupboard essentials for me. If you don’t have fresh chillies then crushed chilli flakes will serve you just as well. I sometimes add some for an extra kick anyway.
Crushed chilli flakes
The one thing you definitely need is a food processor. This is the key ingredient, so-to-speak, of this sauce because it excludes the need for proper chopping and produces a smooth-ish sauce. A stick blender would probably assist and achieve a similar effect but you would need to chop the veg much finer.
Speaking of which, the chopping is very easy. Top and tail the onion, remove the skin and then chop into rough wedges. Top and tail the garlic and peel, then remove the stalks from the chillies and cut each in half. I use two red chillies but if you wanted an element of freshness then a green one would probably be tasty. Go mad if you dare! Just bear in the mind that the heat comes from the seeds of the chilli, which I don’t remove. If you’re chillis are small then you might want to think about removing the seeds but this is supposed to be a hot sauce.
Pour the chopped toms into the processor and start whizzing on a slow speed. Now add the veg using the feeder at the top and carry on whizzing until you have a slightly bitty looking sauce.
To cook the sauce, add a glug (roughly a tablespoon) of extra virgin olive oil to a pan – I use a frying pan just for a larger surface area so the sauce reduces slightly – heat the oil and add the sauce. A decent oil is good in this case because it’s going to contribute to the flavour as opposed to being just for frying purposes, so I use my supremely poncy organic Palestinian olive oil from Whole Foods. Oooooh, pretentious and pricey! But also tasty!
Morals taste good!
Now it’s just a case of heating the sauce through. I like it to thicken so just keep it on a low heat until I can see where the level has lowered on the side of the pan. Or until my pasta is ready. The point is that it doesn’t need to cook per se so keep an eye on it and don’t have the heat too high. Feel free to season to taste.
I like this with white pasta spaghetti. I cook the pasta in a big pan, drain, pour back in the pan and then pour in the sauce to combine (you should always add pasta to sauce, not the other way around – Ed/Loz). Oh yeah, that’s the stuff right there.
Dinner/lunch/tea/supper/snack is served. My lunch today was particularly satisfying with a sneaky can of diet cola and some sautéed kale to up my iron intake and relieve some of the carb guilt.
Do let me know if you attempt this and how you fare – I would love to see snaps and your modifications. Samples of your own cheat’s arrabiata are always gratefully received!
Back in April Loz took me out for my, ahem, 22nd birthday. We lunched at The Ivy (posh!) and then decided to hit an exhibition. We ended up at the marvellous Barbican taking in ‘The Fashion World of Jean Paul Gaultier: From Catwalk to Sidewalk’. If you haven’t seen it then you must immediately, especially as it’s ending on 25 August.
Many of you of a certain age will have had their first exposure to JPG from watching Euro Trash late on a Friday night on Channel 4. Even though I had an inkling of his impression on the fashion world, I was truly blown away by the exhibition. No, you’re not going to buy a frock from him and wear it to a fancy meeting or on a Friday night out, but his real influence has been from the incredible versatility of his designs from the pure avant garde couture aesthetic to fabulous stage costuming.
JPG can’t compete in modern ready to wear but I’m fairly sure he doesn’t want to. The upshot of this is that if you are a Celine bod through and through then you may not love JPG’s style. But for a glimpse through the couture looking glass, this exhibition can’t be beaten.
A quick word on the staging too: it’s brilliant. Faces are projected onto the heads of the mannequins and while this may be slightly creepy, it totally brings the clothes to life. The set-up is effective as you get to stroll through different stages of his work, including a look through his seemingly endless line of muses.
It’s best to take a little bit of patience with you as you will encounter people hogging the best bits, or just moving DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU to see something you’re already looking at. Deep breaths are definitely required. But it is also a lovely way to while away a couple of hours, even if you can’t tell your JPG from your SJP.
The Fashion World of Jean Paul Gaultier: From Catwalk to Sidewalk, showing at the Barbican until 25 August 2014. Full info and tickets available at the Barbican website.
