It’s probably fair to say that I’m not great with money. Oh my, yes, I do realise that this doesn’t make me a unique snowflake, or even remotely unusual. When I earned less I was disciplined and wrote everything down, but then as I continued to work in the City and my salary grew, I just seemed to spend up to it. I was no Wolf of Wall Street, this was a life assurance company, so my ‘spending up to it’ was nipping to New Look of a lunchtime and Pret sandwiches. Oh and loads of wine, obviously: nights out definitely did for me.
I loved my team, and I was passionate about managing people, mentoring them and seeing them poached by other teams. And I’ll probably explore why I was so unutterably miserable in my old job in another post, and that’ll be delightful, but suffice it to say that the last year and a half I spent in the City was Not Good, and I definitely indulged in retail therapy to stave off the misery. Which worked a treat! Ha. So when I moved to the charity sector, I had a lot of baggage (and weight) to shed, and while I can barely recognise that person any more – she was a very sad Loz – I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that I ‘deserve’ treats, that payday is for nice bits, and that when I have an event or an occasion, an ASOS bargain can and should be just around the corner. I’ve used clothes to cheer myself up and it’s been wonderful, but I don’t need to do that any more and it’s time to take back control.
It’s not hard to imagine that I have accumulated quite a few items of clothing. And while I’m not buying compulsively and stuffing bags under the bed in Channel 5 documentary-style, I don’t need anything. So I’m not buying any clothes until I get paid again in a month’s time, as of yesterday, and when I put it into words that sounds like the stupidest statement because really, who can’t go four bleeding weeks without purchasing a bloody piece of clothing? Well here are the three things that are going to challenge my resolve:
Exhibit a: Skirts. Lovely swirly skirts.
I can’t do skirts terribly well- I’m too tall for them to sit where they need to most of the time, and I feel like my tummy gets in the way of the line sometimes. I have a large-ish arse, which is thankfully quite high but prominent nonetheless, so skirts that flare from the waist – be they A-line or pleated – do nothing for me. I can pencil skirt at a push but that’s with the help of a system of levers and pulleys I don’t even want to think about. There’s more engineering to me in a skirt than the Clifton Suspension Bridge.
But! But. I’m seeing a few of these bad boys around and they’re nodding to a structural, covetably Scandinavian look. Like this H&M crinkle skirt that Kathry has already ordered: black, not too flared, with pockets, and a bargain. Ladylike? Yes. Vans-style skater shoes and sweatshirt (as spotted by Kathry on this blog)? Don’t mind if I do. And ASOS have a lovely fresh, minty collection of skirts they’re currently hawking about, in some neoprene-style fabrics, which to my mind keep everything looking contemporary.
Exhibit b: Super-skinny jeans with a 34” in-seam
This is my current go-to item, and the thing I’m most likely to let the N-word (need) slip when thinking about it. I live and die in super-skinny jeans. When I look at my figure, and squint, I can see that I probably have what someone might generously call an athletic frame under this layer of winter warmth, evidenced by slim limbs, small boobs, and not much curve to me except for the aforementioned derriere. So cladding my stupid legs in very tight jeans and going a little looser on top to hide the tum is a good call for me, especially as other cuts of jean (with the exception of a traditional skinny) can drown or add weight to my legs. And since the boy bought me the magnificent Nike Air Max 90s for Christmas and I’m wearing them to get my steps up every day, I feel that super-skinny jeans keep me from looking too casual/frumpy.
I like acid wash (these Topshop beauts have been worn almost to death) but these ASOS lovelies with a bit of fading and a little rip would be ace for casual and smart, and would look cute with the Nikes, biker boots, flip-flops in the summer, and flats for spring.
Exhibit c: all the sweatshirts
Sweatshirts and jumpers are a slightly new concept to me. I have a pathological hatred for the plain, V-neck jumpers worn with black bootcut trousers that I used to see all the time in the City, and I have often wondered why I would bother buying jumpers when I can wear the things I actually like all year round with a cardigan. Except that they never look quite right, and cardigans seem to fall off my shoulders, and I feel much the same about a black cardigan as I do a V-neck jumper… But this year’s seen a whole host of structured, heavier sweatshirts that I love, and find enjoyably practical without feeling like I’ve compromised completely on style. This plum ASOS sweatshirt with quilting at the shoulder –another item nicked off Kathry, who bought it in the khaki –is a bargain in the sale at £14 but I really, really love this Just Female sweat.
The contrast quilting, and the Danish pedigree, make it a hottie for me, and the structure of it makes the piece acceptable for an evening, maybe even with one of those lovely pastel skirts… It would also go with ultra-skinny jeans but that is of course beside the point.
Right now, I feel strong and righteous and good, and this little bit of window shopping has sated the beast within. Still want a skirt that looks like an ice cream though.