Laura

Dr Martens Church 2

Covetables: Dr Martens Church Boots

Dr Martens Church boot – £110

I tried these on as part of my birthday shopping trip and loved them. The shop alas did not have my size, but I am still coveting the Dr Martens Church boot very much.

Dr Martens Church
You really don’t get a sense of the detail here; it’s delicate but bold.

The photos belie how almost delicate these look in the flesh; the oxblood version is beautiful but the contrast stitching on the black version is just divine. They have that great nipped-in feel that you get to a genuine, low-line ankle boot, and with my uniform of super-skinny jeans these will be perfect autumn and spring footwear. M called them a ‘transitional piece’, which I certainly can’t disagree with.

They’re marketed on the DMs website as men’s, which I found a bit odd since so many Doc Martens are unisex. But they’re very handsome and I will be saving up for a September purchase…

Category: Style
heart sand

On living with M

I lived in a house with one or more parents until I was 34.  Seeing that written down feels weird, but for the most part that’s because other people reading it will find it weird; while there were frustrations, sharing a house with my mum didn’t get in the way of much and there’s always been a bunch of beds/sofas/mattresses at friends’ houses to choose from.  It was just the way it worked out for various reasons- some stemming from my parents’ divorce, some not-  and I’ve always had an unusually close, supportive, and respectful relationship with my mum.  I also have never had any desire, even when I’ve felt a mite stifled or childish, to live on my own.  Friends, family, a partner: yes.  But not on my own: that’s a very quick way to minor depression for me.

When I met M I think we tried not to move too quickly, even while emotionally we were speeding out of sight.  We didn’t see each other every night, and work trips and my social life (and the fact that M couldn’t really have one) meant that we had space from each other.  Except that by six months I was staying at M’s house so often, and hanging there even when he was out, that the writing was pretty much on the wall: we live together now.

I had always taken the view that moving in together would be huge, and if the timing was wrong that it could spell absolute disaster.  And I still think that, but I feel that at my age I’m in a better position to know what I want and what I’m able to adapt to.  And in so many ways it’s felt stupidly easy.  I’ve sat in bars and pubs asking my co-habiting friends whether they found it difficult when they first moved in together: I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Or I did.  It turns out that I had interpreted my difficult to be the same as other people’s difficult, which it isn’t.  We split the chores, and although we’re both messy and that can irritate, we’re mostly pretty considerate people.  Where I realise my difficult comes in to play is when it comes to feelings.  I have all the feelings, and I’m a naturally very emotional person.  I’m also resilient, supportive, and fairly alright company, and my emotional side makes me a better friend and partner.  But I do realise that I’m used to living with someone who’s known me all my life and who’s able (pretty much) to gauge my moods and knows the tricks to make me feel better, or to take care of me.  Which me and M are still navigating.  We have an agreement that I need to signpost M to what I need because I’m not that easy to read, and also because I’ve had those very emotional relationships and he hasn’t in the same way.  But it’s not easy when you’re upset to tell someone that you feel they’re handling the situation wrong or you need something else.  I try to guess what people need and I think I do ok but it’s ridiculous to expect anyone to be able to do that with me.

I also have a characteristic that I’m sure can be very tiring for the person I live with. I have a need for things to feel special, or an occasion, or marked in some way.  I’m not sure where it comes from, or rather I do but I can’t quite articulate it.  I know I want to be present and I like things to be deliberate- I really am not one for channel-surfing and ending up with half an old episode of Only Fools and Horses.  I think the concept of ‘occasion’ is a throwback to my childhood: up until quite late in my parents’ marriage, occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, and holidays were sacred.  People put aside their differences and made nice for a couple of days, and we had fun things to eat and drink.  I can’t quite unpick exactly where this need comes from and why I need a sense of ceremony on a bog-standard Saturday night, but I do.  I do my best not to dictate our weekends, and it’s worth noting that somehow marking the evening can be as small as picking something nice for tea, or watching a film instead of something from the Sky planner.  It’s just important to me that we’re present, I guess.  Similar to my feelings about marriage, I want to be actively being in our relationship, not coasting or sleepwalking through it.

I carry with me a fear, always, that I am being emotionally demanding or dictatorial.  While I think we are usually excellent communicators, a recent row proved that pussyfooting around and thinking that we’re being considerate essentially ends up amounting to (benign) dishonesty, and potentially feeling a bit hard done by.  It’s a tricky balancing act between signposting a need and making a demand, I suppose.  But we’re not doing too badly.

Category: Life
8

My Perfect Base

Bare faced, not chic...
Bare faced, not chic…

Flat and dirty-looking: this has, at times, been the unfortunate result of attempting to find a decent foundation.  On my face for all to see, and as a woman who thinks she lacks planes and edges on her visage, this is particularly Not Ideal.  I  have struggled for a long time to find a base that really suits me; from the minute my skin became dry in my early twenties, foundations have felt harsh, heavy, and drying, and I have always eschewed a matte look anyway, for the aforementioned flat/grubby effect.  Having a naturally round face and- I think- quite an uneven complexion, I have long enjoyed a lighter coverage foundation (RIP Prescriptives) and a sparkly, non-matte finishing powder, like the also-discontinued Clinique Gentle Light Powder.

I am now the happiest I have ever been with my make-up as I have discovered the joy of bareMinerals.  The best thing about BM is the buildable coverage, achieved with the type of brush you use- I like the Full Flawless Face brush but there is a lighter version (you’ll end up with a few of these if you buy the BM starter sets), and a kabuki brush for fuller coverage.  You really do need a tiny amount and less is more so swirl, tap, and buff away.

The range of colours for BM is very good, except of course there’s a but and that but is (predictably) when it comes to darker skins.  QVC has been a fantastic way to buy BM, selling awesome kits that save you mucho dinero, however go straight to bareMinerals if you have a darker skin, as the available range is far, far wider.  Feelunique do a lot of the shades too, and P&P is free.

Can't be beaten!
Can’t be beaten!

I start with primer, as I have for many, many years.  It just makes everything go on easier.  After that, I’m the average and predictable Medium Beige:  It’s got a nice neutral tone that hides the pinker tone in my skin, and Summer Bisque concealer complements the foundation.  Applied under the eyes in a ‘v’  shape, to the nose, chin, and cheeks, I feel more even straight away.

After foundation and concealer. How tired I look is not the fault of the make-up.
After foundation and concealer. How tired I look is not the fault of the make-up.

The next step is my secret weapon: All-Over Face Colour in Warmth.  Boom.  It’s recommended that this is applied as a bronzer would be but it’s so light and flattering, I bung it on all over.  A tiny amount goes a long way and just makes your complexion a shade, well, warmer.  Bronzer in the 3 formation (a sweep on the forehead, cheekbones, and chin) and a touch on the nose adds a nice glow and stops the Warmth making you look too flat.  Now, the important question: what powder to finish with.  This is so important I’m splitting my infinitives!  The Mineral Veils by BM are awesome, and while I didn’t see the point for the longest time, they do finish your face off, and hide imperfections, and as by this point I have five products on my face, a nice powder to finish it off is in no way a bad idea and we might as well.  Depending on my mood, I use the Ready Mineral Veil in a compact, or the awesome illuminating veil which is harder to get but so worth it, for that lighter, more ethereal look.  Ethereal on a woman of almost six foot is probably a bit of an ask but let’s go with it.

Bronzed! But neither grubby-looking nor flat (I hope)
Bronzed! But neither grubby-looking nor flat (I hope)

I have done this face on my sister for her wedding, friends for a night out, and it is of no matter whether you have a more olive skin or are a paler darling, the old warmth trick makes you look healthy and glowing in an uber-subtle way, and finishing off with a Mineral Veil totally brings everything together.  My gorgeous Aussie friend Zoe said that it barely looked as if I was wearing any make up, which is EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE GOING FOR and also allows for a polished but not over-done look in five minutes on which to then build cats’ eyes and huge lashes.  Cos the eyes are the stars of the show, obvs.

It is best to check your base from a few angles and in natural light, especially when you're layering
It is best to check your base from a few angles and in natural light, especially when you’re layering

One parting shot then, aimed at all those beeyootiful women who have mastered their foundation and feel flawless and awesome: do not forget your blusher.

After blusher; makes a difference, no?
After blusher; makes a difference, no?
Blusher from a different angle (I call this Tragic Heroine)
Blusher from a different angle (I call this Tragic Heroine)

This is well worth another post, but the amount of wimmin I see who have a gorgeous base but have forgotten to add the natural blush back in.. Well, it’s criminal.  A sweep of a super-fine blush will add a dimension back into your face that you may have lost when perfecting your base.  Worth thinking about, is all I’m saying.

Finished face, basic other make-up done. Eyebrows may be a little heavy but you get the idea, hopefully. I'm happy!
Finished face, basic other make-up done. Eyebrows may be a little heavy but you get the idea, hopefully. I’m happy!
Category: Style
trying on clothes

the clothes-purchasing embargo of February 2014

It’s probably fair to say that I’m not great with money.  Oh my, yes, I do realise that this doesn’t make me a unique snowflake, or even remotely unusual.  When I earned less I was disciplined and wrote everything down, but then as I continued to work in the City and my salary grew, I just seemed to spend up to it.  I was no Wolf of Wall Street, this was a life assurance company, so my ‘spending up to it’ was nipping to New Look of a lunchtime and Pret sandwiches.  Oh and loads of wine, obviously: nights out definitely did for me.

I loved my team, and I was passionate about managing people, mentoring them and seeing them poached by other teams.  And I’ll probably explore why I was so unutterably miserable in my old job in another post, and that’ll be delightful, but suffice it to say that the last year and a half I spent in the City was Not Good, and I definitely indulged in retail therapy to stave off the misery.  Which worked a treat!  Ha.  So when I moved to the charity sector, I had a lot of baggage (and weight) to shed, and while I can barely recognise that person any more she was a very sad Loz I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that I ‘deserve’ treats, that payday is for nice bits, and that when I have an event or an occasion, an ASOS bargain can and should be just around the corner.  I’ve used clothes to cheer myself up and it’s been wonderful, but I don’t need to do that any more and it’s time to take back control.

It’s not hard to imagine that I have accumulated quite a few items of clothing.  And while I’m not buying compulsively and stuffing bags under the bed in Channel 5 documentary-style, I don’t need anything.  So I’m not buying any clothes until I get paid again in a month’s time, as of yesterday, and when I put it into words that sounds like the stupidest statement because really, who can’t go four bleeding weeks without purchasing a bloody piece of clothing?  Well here are the three things that are going to challenge my resolve:

Exhibit a: Skirts.  Lovely swirly skirts.

I can’t do skirts terribly well- I’m too tall for them to sit where they need to most of the time, and I feel like my tummy gets in the way of the line sometimes.  I have a large-ish arse, which is thankfully quite high but prominent nonetheless, so skirts that flare from the waist be they A-line or pleated do nothing for me.  I can pencil skirt at a push but that’s with the help of a system of levers and pulleys I don’t even want to think about.  There’s more engineering to me in a skirt than the Clifton Suspension Bridge.

dh0XRo13pjQ2e8nDLmJLcso349qbBAVW58QKyUFleQuLfaE2FfBU0CsQPYne__X4xQ=w783-h443

But!  But. I’m seeing a few of these bad boys around and they’re nodding to a structural, covetably Scandinavian look.  Like this H&M crinkle skirt that Kathry has already ordered: black, not too flared, with pockets, and a bargain.  Ladylike?  Yes.  Vans-style skater shoes and sweatshirt (as spotted by Kathry on this blog)?  Don’t mind if I do.  And ASOS have a lovely fresh, minty collection of skirts they’re currently hawking about, in some neoprene-style fabrics, which to my mind keep everything looking contemporary.

Exhibit b: Super-skinny jeans with a 34” in-seam

This is my current go-to item, and the thing I’m most likely to let the N-word (need) slip when thinking about it.  I live and die in super-skinny jeans.  When I look at my figure, and squint, I can see that I probably have what someone might generously call an athletic frame under this layer of winter warmth, evidenced by slim limbs, small boobs, and not much curve to me except for the aforementioned derriere.  So cladding my stupid legs in very tight jeans and going a little looser on top to hide the tum is a good call for me, especially as other cuts of jean (with the exception of a traditional skinny) can drown or add weight to my legs.  And since the boy bought me the magnificent Nike Air Max 90s for Christmas and I’m wearing them to get my steps up every day, I feel that super-skinny jeans keep me from looking too casual/frumpy.

6fYLKHS80R7vLZ6lf-eaTOGa_DcqKU4OvyhojeBPnZCz1rxAFo94F66PhbVY1BG_Tw=w1249-h482

I like acid wash (these Topshop beauts have been worn almost to death) but these ASOS lovelies with a bit of fading and a little rip would be ace for casual and smart, and would look cute with the Nikes, biker boots, flip-flops in the summer, and flats for spring.

Exhibit c: all the sweatshirts

Sweatshirts and jumpers are a slightly new concept to me.  I have a pathological hatred for the plain, V-neck jumpers worn with black bootcut trousers that I used to see all the time in the City, and I have often wondered why I would bother buying jumpers when I can wear the things I actually like all year round with a cardigan.  Except that they never look quite right, and cardigans seem to fall off my shoulders, and I feel much the same about a black cardigan as I do a V-neck jumper…  But this year’s seen a whole host of structured, heavier sweatshirts that I love, and find enjoyably practical without feeling like I’ve compromised completely on style. This plum ASOS sweatshirt with quilting at the shoulder another item nicked off Kathry, who bought it in the khaki is a bargain in the sale at £14 but I really, really love this Just Female sweat.

15Tw76KVMMZC4xIXO3U7QGnIg5b5t9oCq420Nppwps0X9hvtiG2fEiSyS1ESoyUvgg=w1249-h482

The contrast quilting, and the Danish pedigree, make it a hottie for me, and the structure of it makes the piece acceptable for an evening, maybe even with one of those lovely pastel skirts…  It would also go with ultra-skinny jeans but that is of course beside the point.

Right now, I feel strong and righteous and good, and this little bit of window shopping has sated the beast within.  Still want a skirt that looks like an ice cream though.

Category: Style